is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
only you would photoshop your dick
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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