Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize