I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
