I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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