And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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