Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
