I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just found a bag of teeth...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
