Just took my morning after pill in the library
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
