i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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