Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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