Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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