one two three fourrrrnication!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
