Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
