do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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