you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize