And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do vagina's smell?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
