the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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