sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize