They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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