Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
