no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize