then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
