a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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