I am in a vortex of obligation.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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