Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
