their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
