I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
