i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
