Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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