So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
