yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
