Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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