she peed on how many people?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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