I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
