We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
