I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
