I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
