Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
