well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
