i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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