How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
