Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
