I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
