Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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