Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
