Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
