i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
