Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
