Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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