I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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