I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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