his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
