I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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