i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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