Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Randomize
