He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
