You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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