so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
