If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Randomize
