Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize