Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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